Thursday Thirteen Edition 4: The Bride

We've enjoyed learning about Skeezix's people so much that we wanted to share about our people. Since our mom and dad decided to finally legitimize us and tie the knot next month, we'll make it a countdown to the wedding. So this Thursday Thirteen will be about mom with four more Thursday Thirteens to go before they get hitched.

1. She did ballet when she was a little girl. She said she's glad she quit because she isn't very good at not eating. And her leaps looked like hops.

2. She was a cheerleader in high school and she was captain her senior year until she got really sick, missed a whole bunch of school and was told she couldn't cheer because she didn't have any grades. She had mono-nu-clee-oh-sus and her immune system hasn't been the same since. She still gets strep at least three times a year and catches anything anyone has.

3.She is from a place all the way on the other side of the world called California. She lived in the same house since she was born until she came to live with daddy (and when she went to college).
4. She has a Bachelor of Arts in English from the University of California, Santa Barbara. She said when she lived at school she lived right next to the beach and the sea lions barking often kept her up at night. We know she has to be lying 'cuz lions don't bark, they roar, Emily saw it on Animal Plant.

5. She is really allergic to spider bites and makes daddy kill every spider he sees so it doesn't bite her and kill her, or have babies that may bite her and kill her.

6. She was a vegetarian for 6 years when she was younger, she finally broke down at a get together with friends at a steak house when her friend told her that if a cow could, it would eat her. She is almost ready to become a vegetarian again and she really doesn't like meat. She's crazy. She does make all of her food from scratch though, and it's very tasty. She mainly cooks Italian. You guys should come over for dinner sometime.

7. She is what daddy calls "liberal for a liberal" but that's ok because she comes from California and they are like that over there. Mom calls it being "progressive."

8. She has had at least one cat her entire life. She also usually has a dog. She is a hardcore animal lover and cries when she sees an animal hit by a car or without a home. Dad says if it was up to her we would be a shelter. Mom thinks every animal deserves love and a home of their own.

9. She just became a certified paralegal. She will soon be leaving her job to seek paralegal work. She hates her job, she doesn't like working for someone that she knows she is smarter than. She's in the middle of trying to get into law school. Right now she has dropped out of the current round to try to get a better LSAT score to get more money from the schools that accepted her this time or maybe even into her dream school University of Richmond. She says she wants to defend the environment, whatever that means.

10. She reads Vogue and Vanity Fair and makes fun of the way daddy dresses. She often tells him he can't go outside wearing what he's wearing because she reads Vogue and it's not kosher. She is also a celebrity gossip addict; it's a habit she picked up in college when she was so tired of finding meaning in everything she just wanted to read something that had no value or interpretation. This is Percy's favorite thing about her because after she reads the magazines he licks them, sometimes he doesn't even wait until she's done.

11. She has very strange sleeping habits. She wakes up a bajillion times in the night, but it's ok because she pets us when she does. Sometimes she goes days without sleeping, we tell her to just take a nap already but she says she just can't. She also has times when she wakes up all cold and sweaty screaming and crying from something daddy calls night terrors. We all have to run and let her pet us so she can forget what made her so scared and fall back asleep. She even sees things that aren't there, she'll jump up from trying to fall asleep and make daddy look for whatever she saw until she realizes it wasn't real. I looked it up on Wikipedia, it's called hypogognic hallucinations. She has a real hard time sleeping after that happens.

12. Right now she's on a diet because she doesn't exactly fit into her wedding dress, but she believes it will happen. We like to help out by doing bad things and getting her to chase us.

13. She always puts us first and makes sure we're taken care of. She buys us the best food she can find, always brings home toys, grows us grass and nip. She's just the bestest most greatest mom we could ever ask for and we love her very much.

-Eliot

PS. We will update with a picfurof mom later.